i apologize in advance

A little while ago, I looked at Bing's image of the day on my Windows phone and saw a wonderfully eccentric beautiful birdy.  It turns out that the bird's name is 'blue-footed booby' and I don't know if it's immaturity or the weirdly giddy mood I was in, but needless to say, I laughed and laughed and laughed.  And that night, my family and I went to eat sushi at a place called 'Wasabi' and I thought my dad was joking when he said that was the name of the restaurant and I laughed and laughed.  The sushi and service were lovely but I am so puerile.  And ten seconds ago I had no clue what that word meant but I love looking for synonyms for other words and finding out what they mean and how they're related but never the same.  While we were eating sushi, I showed my family the picture of the blue-footed booby and built up the suspense before telling them its name but when I did they weren't as amused as I thought they'd be.  I was thinking of Drake and Josh too, because Megan called them 'boobs' a lot.  I call my brother 'butt' a lot.  I feel incredibly silly for this post.

So I kind of did some spur of the moment online research on the blue-footed booby and found that 'booby' comes from the Spanish word 'bobo' which means stupid fellow, clown, fool, etc.  Named so because they're a bit clumsy on land and they're not scared of humans.  I saw this short YouTube video of a smaller male blue-footed booby being rejected by a larger female one.  She just didn't like his dance moves I guess.  The poor fella.  And over the course of a two days, I've fallen in love.  I feel like it wouldn't be an insult, but kind of maybe like an endearment if I affectionately said to someone, "Oh, you blue-footed booby".  I don't know what response that would get.  I'll get back to you.  Actually, in all honesty, I probably will never say that out loud.

I'm not sure why I feel embarrassment creeping up whenever I'm on the verge of saying "I absolutely love watching MTV's Teen Wolf and The Challenge".  There's nothing to be ashamed of.  Stiles is the best and Isaac please come back and CT's beard is lush.  And I guess while I'm on the matter of not-too-shabby looking, sigh-inducing, amazing actors, I should say that I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Thomas Brodie-Sangster.  Maybe I just need to sit on a bench with a guy who listens to The Smiths and yell "PENIS" at the top of my lungs.  There's nothing to be ashamed of.  Okay, truthfully, I'm embarrassed for myself for all this random stuff I'm putting out there.

If you've got a secret vendetta against me because of a small reason or no reason, I have something to say to you:

I will mess you up.

With weird but changed smiles because apparently there is valid evidence from old photographs that I didn't know how to smile as a youngster.  I also have sufficiently large teeth and I remember in James Franco's Roast, someone said something along the lines of, 'Andy Samberg's teeth are so big, that each is a lonely island', and it was awful but I couldn't help but laugh, and I feel like that sometimes.  But back to messing you up.  I will smile at you and I will mean it and I'll create the most awkward bubble of silence because I never know what to say.  It might make you uneasy and it'll make me uneasy too.  But that's okay.  No ill will, no apathy.  It's okay if you hate me though, I hate me too.  That was the wrong closer.

And that ladies and gents, is a comeback to a nonexistent insult.  An odd, terrible, late-night, unrealistic, doozy comeback.